Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Food for the Bi-Polar disorder

For a long while now I've had Bi-Polar disorder. I know it is hard to believe that I could be depressed most of the time. I've found excellent ways to hide it. Anyway, I usually get really depressed when I get stressed. I found out recently that most of my stress was caused by our money issues. They have now started to resolve themselves and the stress lifted for three days. I felt completly at ease with life and knew everything would work out.
Today I was hit by some blindsides that knocked me off my game. First, Todd almost lost his job because their insurance company won't insure him to drive the company truck cause he has had a few to many tickets which means he has to use the van for work which means I have no car to run my errands I need to run during the day. Second, Todds father tried to contact him today to beg for money cause he just lost his job and left his wife. Third, I've had an ongoing medical problem that has been making me sick for years but the doctors don't believe me.
For the past 5 years I haven't been able to control my body temperature. It has gotten really bad lately. I constantly have a fan on in the winter and a heater on in the summer. I thought for the longest time that I was crazy. I have no fever what so ever and I pant like a dog all day. I usually have the door open when I can. I think it is part of my depression. I don't really know cause I've had my depression longer.
Today was a very stressful and depressing day for me. In the past when I got depressed I would eat and eat. In the beginning of my depression my comfort food was Bacon. Terrible for me but so yummy. Soon it became sweets such as chocolate or strawberry jam. Weird I know. This new comfort food is totally outside of any comfort food that I can think of. I always want a Cobb Salad from Iggy's when I get depressed. At least it is healthier than my other comfort foods.
Sorry, just venting today. Very stressful.


Myrna said...

Have you been to an endocrinologist? Someone to test your hormone levels? Because hormone levels are associated with body temperature.

Nikki and Ray said...

So sorry you have this trouble Kath, I know how you feel cause so do I and it is hard for people to understand. I also think you should go to the endocrinologists, hormones can create havoc on you life, have your thyroid levels checked and also your adrenal gland. Life is hard when you have these problems and there is no cure but to feel just ok is such a marvelous feeling. Hang in there girl and try to get an appt. Loves!